Funny Marriage Quotes by Men

Funny Marriage Quotes: I asked four long-married men two questions about their wives. Their answers provide a light-hearted insight into marriage.

These are the two questions they answered.

1. What does your wife do that you find mildly annoying?

2. What does she do that is endearing or sweet?

Kempton's funny marriage quotes, late 40’s, Silicon Valley:

1. Being volunteered without being consulted first, therefore I am then perceived as the "bad guy". This is at the high end of annoying and could be low P.O.'d.

2. Making me a drink in the evening. Sending funny pictures of the kids.

Carlo's funny marriage quotes, early 50’s, San Jose:

1. She routinely re-organizes stuff in the kitchen when I'm not home, without letting me know in advance where it's new home will be. I look around desperately for the cheese grater, the cinnamon, the collander, or whatever she decided needed a better place.

2. She often does little things, like making me a favorite Peruvian drink of "Chicha Morada" or something like that (it's a corn based drink, like iced tea, only way better).

Terry's funny marriage quotes, late 50’s, Menlo Park:

1. My wife comes from a family of 7 in a 3-bedroom house, which explains the following but doesn't make it any less annoying to me. She insists on hanging her brassieres on 3 of the 4 bedposts of our new queen-sized bed. I mean...men are territorial but this is ridiculous. Now don't get me wrong. In the right place and time I love and adore and even get carried away with brassieres, but this is clearly in another category.

2. In 2008 we both have done exceptionally well at losing weight and exercising. To the point that one friend continually reminded Marie that her denim jeans were too big and baggy. It was not important to her until the recent morning she asked me to retrieve her briefcase from the car. I grabbed a nearby pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt. Upon returning she looked at me in disgust and asked me what in the world I thought I was doing. Looking down at the pant legs for the first time, I noticed the embroidered red roses on the sides. Needless to say I was totally elated to see that now I comfortably fit in my wife's pants in a different way than I have ever experienced before.

William's funny marriage quotes, early 60’s, Menlo Park:

1. If I turn the TV on and leave the room for a second - with the plan to return and cruise for a/the program of my choice - she is already engrossed in WHATEVER happens be showing when the TV comes on. Then I feel weird wanting to interrupt and change the channel.

2. The way she strokes the back of my head just when I need it.

And no, every moment is not harmonious in a marriage, but the appreciation of differences balances the slightly sour notes with the sweet.

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